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[29 Nov 2009|07:00pm] |
Life Alone is starting to make sense again
life in general actualllly is.
if i could have matthew forever i would be fine=]
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[26 Nov 2009|08:08pm] |
i ate FAT today
twiceee
hah now im ending my night with my boo boos witha sesh
then going to my two bbbys and gonna bbabbysit and sleep with them=]
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| On my way to go read when i should be studing i thought |
[12 Oct 2009|01:25pm] |
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Tragedy makes a good writer
personal ideas ,thoughts and also others
life tends to take a huge toll also.
if i wouldnt have been so lost i wouldnt have understood the meaning of life we uphold.
so in the end regret it far from my mind.
sometimes when one conjures up the thought of God we think sobriety is the only way to reach him.
most of us will use the excuse of whatever were doing to"say" we are able to get closer to God.
but by doing so,under some influence, you can reach closer to Him then do it.
but dont fool yourself and everyone around on how its for your own pleasure when you plead and plead its for him.
cause usually its not.
................the other night i heard a friend flipped horribly in a car five minutes after leaving us....alcohol in this case made him possibly die....but for me it made me realize what i had to do.... i ran to the rest room washed my feet.,took of my shoes, got onto the ground with my nose bracing the floor with my eyes and voice more full of God then it had ever been once before.
I had never been more full of God then at that point.
Sobriety would have made me throw the fact that a friend was dying to the back of my head and i would have been selfish enough not to take two minutes of my time to do something that was most necessary of all.
Luckily enough twenty minutes later they arrive back Alive....i had never been so grateful for him and his family or even the selfish feeling relieved.
then at that time it hit me and i had written this.
"Have you ever noticed so many things at once? So many things you could never even comprehend...And when it hits you,you realized your blessed. One realizes the meaning of life and the epiphanies that come from it.One never notices or understand the beauty of life they will obtain."
The Truth is never pretty
But at least everyone was perfectly safe
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| Just a thought.. |
[11 Oct 2009|10:12pm] |
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mood |
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Edgar Allan Poe has inspired me more then ever imaginable.He always has.His works have confounded my thoughts and mind since freshmen year of high school.Recently ive went reading many many of his writings and i am certain to think he is the most intelligent man in literature.The way his brain works reminds me of myself.Two analytical lost souls searching for something,anything.Trying to always find and have an explanation or answer.
One who tends to over-think is analytical,but, maybe by doing so having the ability to understand more then the normal persons mind can consume.
"Normal" By meanin the everyday in the box-closed minded-thinking Joe.
They're(as in the normal people) everywhere surrounding our life making it dull.
But is it doing so? Or are they just another over thought situation.
Because when you start to understand,you're overwhelmed with thoughts of how much ones missing out on.Pity isn't one of my favorite things to feel but it just comes out.Imagine living your whole life without really never knowing the truth about it.
But if you never knew anything else,how could you understand?You couldn't
and thats where the feeling of pity comes in.
The feeling is not necessary but one does tend to reap soo.
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[08 Oct 2009|11:11am] |
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so im not sure if the lean makes me more sad or just forget
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[15 Sep 2009|01:33pm] |
Once i Get My Bachelors of science
Im going back to school for journalism
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[15 Sep 2009|01:33pm] |
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mood |
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creative |
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And When The Day Arrives
I'll become the sky
And I'll become the sea
And the sea will come to kiss me
For I am going
Home
Nothing can stop me now
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| GoodBye Summer. |
[23 Aug 2009|05:51pm] |
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mood |
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Amazingly Blessed |
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music |
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Kill The Noise |
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So tomorrow im starting my sophomore year of college.
im blessed
i have the best friends
and not many people can say that and actually mean it
for instance.
Matt-this year its been 10 years=]and we have never been closer.He is my WORLD
Monique-its been 6 years and she would do anything for my complaining ass.and has pulled me outta suicide watch when shit went down with my first love frank ..she picked me up and made me realize life isnt always a bowl of cheerrys.
Steph-its been 9 years...aaron had stolen her away for two but i have her back and i can forgive her because everyone is only human.And she is nothing but a beautiful person inside and out.Her heart is amazing.
Brittany-its been 12 years were sisters really we fight just like sisters but could never stop loving eachother no matter what goes down between us.
Eddie N-Its only been 5 but those five years have been the best five years of my life because he would be their for me through any scenario me being a crazy bitch or me yelling at him hitting him .he will ALWAYS love me and be there for me.Its amazing what hes put up with.
Vivian-Its also been about 5 years.Shes like the big sister i never had she loves me dearly shes like a mom.Shes takin care of everyone when they've needed it and her heart is pure Gold.She could never even hurt a fly.She deserves everything wonderful.
Eddie T-We Only have four years but ive never met someone so unselfish before.He is a real man and thank God because there are few out there anymore.and ive never been happier to call him one of my bestfriends.
.......
SO you see how blessed i am its stupid.
God is good;and times when you feel its not just stay quiet and listen because you'll be able to hear,see, and notice the beauties of this world and the people we hold Close in it.
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[13 Aug 2009|02:54am] |
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mood |
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i just want someone to love me.
i want someone to care about me more then anything in this world and mean it.
i want someone to hold me thru everynight and not have to tell me everythings gonna be okay;because inside ill already be able to feel it.
i want someone who will bring me flowers when im sad,cook me food when i least expect it,and love even inch of me no matter how my additude is "im a girl were unfortunately programed crazy".
i want someone who will let ME be their everything
i want someone who will tell me their feeling,thoughts,and dreams. and have me incourage every little step on the way without judgement and negativity.
i want someone who will let ME hold them thru the night and rub their head until they fall asleep in my arms and make me realize everyday how fuckin lucky i am to have them.
i want someone with a backbone thick as can be;but with a heart soo pure and true you could never doubt his trust.
but in the end all i really want is love
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[08 Aug 2009|07:29pm] |
im devastaded
im not going to even try to act like im not
im not a fuckin G
when it comes to you im a little bitch
appreciation is key to life
once appreciations out the door so is trust.
your guards up because how could you trst someone you dont apreciate.
im sorry to all those out there wating for that fairy-tale ending but Love Is Not Enough.
because then at that moment when you think your so in love.
and you absolutely KNOW your so in love the obstacles come.
and if your not strong enough to fight those obstacle you will not prevail in your situation.
and if you just stick thru it and not work it out.
you'll end up failing too.and both go crazy.
just next time any of you love someone dont just tell them how much you love them show them with actions how you care not words.
everyone is able to sweettalk someone into something but when your there because you actually showed you cared the end result wont be so brut00L.
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